The Perfect Woman

"Be thin"
"Thori gori hojao"
"Be tall"
"Aur parhlo thora"
"Be polite"
"Be shy"
"Tameezdaar hojao"
"Khana pakana aana chahiye"
To be someone's bride there is so much more I have to be. To be a stranger's idea of the perfect bride. They are carving their wishes into me, moulding my body to create their ideal clay model of a shy, submissive, slim, fair woman who they find suitable for their not always perfect sons. They want me to be educated, but not enough to work after I say "I do." They want me to be young but only if I'm beautiful. Late 20's and I'm a used paper bag, crumpled and crushed until I am cast aside to be ground into a fine powder by an older man who looks at young models while I sit next to him. Late 20's and I'm too firm too strong-willed too wise too independent. Too not the ideal wife the ideal daughter-in-law the ideal mother. It's the 21st century where women show the world their shine and their headstrong heart but you want to dim my shine with every scrub of a dirty pot and every "jee" that I utter out of fear. Not fear of you but fear of "log kya kaheinge." Fear of your disapproval, afraid of your son's shame because his wife is too talkative too brave too smart...too unlike his friends' quieter wives. So you continue to suffocate me, merging me with your idea of a perfect woman that I don't agree with but everyone else seems to.
I don't agree with it. Your 19th century ideals of a perfect woman. We come in all shapes and sizes and colours and minds, you cannot tell us what is ideal or not. You want us to be perfect according to your shrinking bubble of perfection but why should we be a certain way when your son can be any way he wants and it's okay? Before you point at us mould us change us redress us reshape us, look at who you're changing us for and stop to think if they need changing too. Marriage is a compromise so why do you expect only women to leave themselves lost in a pool of black instructions and critiques while men do as they please? Don't be hypocritical, let everyone create themselves. Whether man or woman or any other, let us form our ideal version of ourselves according to our wishes and dreams. All my life you have said be a certain way, I spit back in your face. I will be educated I will have strong ideas I will be myself. I won't be thin if I can't be, I won't be fair if that's what your version of beauty is because I think all colours are beautiful. Tell you what I will be; Strong
Brave
Kind
Wise
Supportive
Hardworking
Understanding
Accepting
Mature
A good wife a good mother a good daughter-in-law. A good woman but according to both our wishes, not just yours.
In return I wish the same.
So although I might not be society's version of a perfect woman, atleast I'm mine and my family's. And maybe just maybe, it's time for society to change their ideas about men and women and everyone else too.